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Relationship advice

A myHSteam Member asked a question 💭
Artesia, NM

I'm 26 I started having hs thanksgiving last year while a few months pregnant.its been awful so far no doctor help getti g bounced from doctor to doctor I see a dermatologist the 10th so hopefully I get some clarity but as of now my relationship is falling apart becuz of hs it sucks and nothing I can do about it anyone experience this? Feeling crappy

August 4, 2020
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Reactions
A myHSteam Member

I completely understand where you’re coming from . Me and my husband has been together 10 years married for 1 . He doesn’t see why this disease affects my ability to be close to him and why it affects our sex life . But honestly when your always in pain especially if you have them on your panty line you’re embarrassed and it’s depressing . He feels like it’s no big deal to him and that he’s taken care of my sores before but he doesn’t understand that doesn’t change how disgusted I am about my own body sometimes

August 5, 2020
A myHSteam Member

I feel like this is really sad. Breaks my heart to read this. My husband is fully supportive and doesnt make me feel any different for having this problem. Mine is severe too. We've been together for 10 years and I devopled it after our first son 10 years ago. You guys need men that support you, trust me they are out there!! ❤❤

August 4, 2020
A myHSteam Member

My husband has always been supportive. By you developing this recently you guys need to sit down together and do more research

August 11, 2020
A myHSteam Member

Erin Martinez has done some really helpful videos on relationships, intimacy and HS. Hope it helps.. https://hidrawear.com/erin-martinez-videos/

August 10, 2020
myHSteam

For relationship advice related to hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), here are some key points from the knowledge base:

- Communication is Key: Open communication with your partner about HS can help maintain intimacy. One member shared, “My husband knows all about it. I hate being touched in a flare-up, and he gives me space Show Full Answer

For relationship advice related to hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), here are some key points from the knowledge base:

- Communication is Key: Open communication with your partner about HS can help maintain intimacy. One member shared, “My husband knows all about it. I hate being touched in a flare-up, and he gives me space until they heal.”

- Be Honest and Open: Another member mentioned, “I just say, ‘Babe, I’ve got a spot there.’ In the beginning, I would avoid intimacy. Eventually, I just laid it out — this is what it is, this is what it does, I can’t control it.”

- Self-Acceptance: It's important to start with the relationship and communication you have with yourself. Focus on your senses and what makes you feel good. “Intimacy has to begin with your relationship with yourself,” said Martinez-Gilliard.

- Understanding and Support: Partners can be understanding and supportive. One member noted, “I never thought I would get married or have anyone love me, but I did find someone. We think that no one could love us, but they can. There is more to us than HS!”

- Professional Help: If self-esteem, body image, anxiety, or depression are affecting your relationship, speaking with a professional can help. Marriage counseling, family therapy, and other types of group programs can facilitate better communication and stronger relationships.

For more detailed advice, you can refer to the articles:
- [Intimacy and HS: Communicating With Partners](https://www.myHSteam.com/resources/intimacy-and...)
- [Sex and HS: myHSteam Members Share Challenges and Fears](https://www.myHSteam.com/resources/sex-and-hs-m...)

July 14, 2024

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